


my way

by muddyrockxo



Category: Strictly Come Dancing RPF
Genre: Loss, Loss of Parent(s), Love, M/M, Neverland (Peter Pan), Singing, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muddyrockxo/pseuds/muddyrockxo
Summary: It's been a year since the death of Craig's dad, and Craig's just trying to make it through My Way- his dad's favourite song- without breaking down.
Relationships: Craig Revel Horwood/Undisclosed
Kudos: 1





	my way

Even before Craig takes to the stage in High Wycombe to sing the penultimate song of the show, My Way, he already feels emotional. 

He's got his partner Jonathan in the audience to support him, during what will be one of the hardest performances of his life. 

It's been a year to the date since Craig's dad passed, and now he has to go onstage and sing what was his dad's favourite song. He's sung it every single day for the last three weeks, and managed to get through it somehow, but today it's particularly hard to sing. 

The curtain rises, and Craig takes a deep breath, clutches his microphone, and steps out on the stage. He takes a moment to remind himself that he is not Craig Revel Horwood right now - he is the villainous Captain Hook. He will not cry, because Captain Hook would not cry. 

He knows the exact seat Jonathan is sitting in, the middle seat in the very front row, but refuses to look at him. He knows that that would just make him break down faster. 

He opens his mouth and valiantly starts to sing the Frank Sinatra classic. 

And now, the end is near  
And so I face the final curtain  
My friend, I'll say it clear  
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain  
I've lived a life that's full  
I traveled each and every highway  
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

His eyes begin to fill up with tears again, but he won't cry. He won't cry. 

Down in the audience, Jonathan clutches his mum's hand and his throat closes up. He's crying already, so emotional at seeing his boyfriend sing the song that means so much to him. 

Regrets, I've had a few  
But then again, too few to mention  
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption  
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway  
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Craig's throat closes up and he swallows heavily. There's no way that he's crying on High Wycombe stage. Not in front of all these people who paid to see him, in front of all the fans - he can't let them down by letting his personal life affect his professional life. 

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew  
When I bit off more than I could chew  
But through it all, when there was doubt  
I ate it up and spit it out  
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

Jonathan is openly crying now, and so is his mum. Both of them know how much pain Craig is in now emotionally, and it breaks them both- they both love him so much. 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried  
I've had my fill, my share of losing  
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing  
To think I did all that  
And may I say, not in a shy way  
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

At this point, Craig's voice cracks - he is so close to tears. He just can't help it. But he can't sit down and let the tears just flow like he wants to, he has to continue singing this song. For his dad, for everyone that had paid to come and see this show, for Jonathan, for his own personal satisfaction. 

He embarks on the final verse. 

For what is a man, what has he got?  
If not himself, then he has naught  
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels  
The record shows, I took the blows and did it.. my way

Craig manages to belt out the last high note, but then he finally breaks down. Jonathan sees how upset he is and wants nothing more to run on the stage and hug him. But he can't. That would just be so unprofessional and would ruin the show - so he stays put, though it just about kills him. 

Craig still remembers to fall to the floor and lie still, signifying Hook's demise. 

The curtain falls, and the audience erupts. It's deafening, even as Craig runs off stage and to his dressing room where he can cry in private. He ignores members of the cast asking if he's okay, refuses to answer as he runs into his dressing room, slams the door and begins to sob. 

The two people cheering loudest of all out in the audience are Jonathan and his mum, who are standing, tears streaming down their faces. 

"I'm going to pop backstage and check he's okay," he whispers to his mum, who nods. 

Jonathan doesn't care whether its allowed or not. He runs backstage immediately and manages to get to Craig's dressing room in little under three minutes. He opens the door, not even bothering to knock, and finds Craig huddled up on the floor, vulnerable, sobbing. Poor thing.. he'd been so, so brave, as he always was, but just couldn't hold it in any longer. 

Jonathan pulls Craig into a warm, tight cuddle, and holds him as he sobs. He strokes a hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him. He forgets that Craig should be getting ready for a final curtain call with the rest of the cast. Instead, he just holds Craig to him, never wanting to let him go. 

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, and a couple of seconds later, in walks the guy that reminds everyone when they are going to be on stage. 

"Craig, you need to be ready to go on in two minutes," he says in a professional tone. 

"Do you really think he's going to be in a fit state to go on in two minutes?" Jonathan says sharply. He doesn't mean to sound rude, he's just so protective of his Craigy that he can sometimes sound rude or defensive. "Please. Explain to the audiences he's very upset and won't be going back out there tonight or doing stage door for that matter." 

The man nods and leaves the room, and Jonathan pulls Craig closer, cuddling him as he lets out all of the emotion, beyond proud of the bravery that he has shown tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this is a one shot I wrote over a year ago, so it's not my favourite and I apologise if it isn't my best work. Short as well, I know, but I didn't feel the need to drag it on.
> 
> I'll be back over the next few days with another one, and I'll try and schedule an update for This Little Girl as well. Remember if you have any requests, dm me or comment them here. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you all. ❤


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